October 26, 2008Some of you reading this are married, some may not be... But for those of you who are, do you remember that moment when you realized you were in love with your spouse? So in love that you wanted to run to the tallest building or the highest mountain and shout it so everyone knew? Or wanted to stop a random stranger on the street just to say "Guess what??? I just fell in love and it's GREAT!!" I remember feeling that way when I realized Ryan was "the one", then again when we got married, and I still feel that way about him now. It's being truly in love and passionate I think.
In a way, I think we as Christmas "enthusiasts" feel similar about our decorating and our special bond we have as those who do a "Year-Round Christmas" and constantly plan for our next one.
For me, yes I love the decorating and the food; and sure, who doesn't love presents? But what I love the most is family and the special times you get to share. We don't always get to have "ideal" Christmas celebrations, but even then there are memories, and ideas for what to do or not do the next Christmas.
Being raised in a Christian home I was always taught to enjoy and appreciate what I got, but to enjoy just as much giving and seeing others receive. I really appreciate my parents instilling that in me and teaching me that. I believe it has largely made me who I am today. Christmas is the most fun time of year for me, and thats probably why I enjoy preparing for it so much, all year long. It doesn't mean I have a terrible rest of the year or dislike other holiday's and seasons. I consider myself to have a wonderful life and I wouldn't change one thing about it. I have an amazing husband, an outstanding family, and I don't "need" for anything. God has blessed us richly and all I want is to be able to help pass those blessings on to others.
We usually buy for an Angel off of an Angel Tree, and for a few years we did a Girls Home project with our church, until the girls home was closed and re-located to another city. And there's even been the times when we've bought gifts for someone we thought might be in need and they showed up at that person's door without them having any knowledge of who or what did it, just that they had their own Christmas miracle in their time of need. It's in those moments when you know that you have done something good for a person, because you genuinely wanted to, not for any glory or praise, that you feel really good. It makes you smile to yourself, and know that you've made that person's day brighter and that's more fulfilling than any gift you could receive.
Sometimes, it's nothing material at all. It's listening to your heart, even when you don't understand it. This week, I did something I've not done in a long time. I went to see my Mimi in the nursing home. (Dad's mom).
Before I go any further, let me explain why this was such an oddity for me. We (my siblings and I) don't have what you could call a great releationship with either of our grandmothers. Both of our grandfathers are deceased, and it's always seemed like on both sides of the family that my brothers, my sister and I, never "add up" for our grandparents. No matter how good our grades were, how well our careers were, or that we were morally upstanding, we still weren't good enough to be part of the "inner circle" grandparents usually have with their grandkids. I married Ryan and saw a grandmother (His mom's mom) who dotes over her grandsons like they are the only people in the world. We considered it a great achievement if our grandparents showed up at a Birthday party when we were kids. Over the years you learn to ignore it, but for a sentimental softie like myself, during holiday seasons you miss that connection. I do have a few memories of Christmas time at each of my grandmother's houses. They weren't all bad, just not a lot of good memories.
Back to what I did this week- I hadn't seen my mimi in several months, because usually when I go see her she ends up telling me that I have gained a lot of weight and look worse than ever and I end up leaving more frustrated than when I came. But, I kept having this nagging feeling that I needed to go see her. Being like my mom (sorry mom, but you know its true! lol) I thought to myself "God, are is something about to happen to her and you don't want me to feel guilty for not seeing her recently?", which I hope is not the case. But, I listened to the feeling speaking to my heart to go see her. I got in the car and drove over there, and had the best visit with her I've had in years. For the first time in a really long time, she seemed truly interested in what I was doing and how I was doing. Her first question was, "Are you going to be able to have babies?". My mom had told her about my surgery and she was truly concerned over it. We talked on and I told her I wanted to bring her and her roomate each a small Christmas tree and decorate it in their rooms, and she told me how much she would enjoy that. We talked about Christmas memories and I told her about my blog.- Because this was one thing we did always do together when I was a girl. I always got to help decorate their tree when I was little. For the first time since I was a girl, I actually felt a common ground with one of my grandmothers, and felt like she really cared. It was a great feeling, moreso than any gift I could've gotten.
It really put me in the Christmas Spirit more than I already was. Sure, I'm busy decorating and have a million things to do. But, it was a special moment with a family member that I hadn't had in a long time.
Keeping Christmas In My Heart,
*Heth*
